


The Grocer Rises

by Anglachel54



Series: Hobbit Oneshots [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 20:19:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11744442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anglachel54/pseuds/Anglachel54
Summary: AU Re-take of the 'So this is the burglar?' scene (Mini oneshot)





	The Grocer Rises

**Author's Note:**

> AU - Drogo is minding Bag End while Bilbo went out for a couple days for some timber, big house = constant improvements or whatever. 
> 
> Gandalf mistakes Drogo for Bilbo (Lol lets just pretend that Gandalf's eagle vision failed him in this moment), dwarf invasion still happens and Drogo is freaking the fuck out
> 
> Bilbo shows up just as Thorin enters the house

"So this is the burglar." Thorin studied Bilbo, unimpressed, "Looks more like a grocer than a burglar."

There was some snickering until Bilbo put down the boards he was holding, and walked straight up to Thorin with a thunderous expression on his face. "And yet, here you are loitering in front of my door. That leaves much to say about you, doesn't it Dwarf," The hobbit growled, glaring up at him.

Thorin squared back his shoulders, opening his mouth to retort back when Drogo interrupted.

"Oh Cousin Bilbo, I'm terribly sorry!" The poor hobbit cried. "They just burst in here! I asked them to leave but none would listen to me! Not even Gandalf would listen."

Bilbo's eye twitched at the mention of the wizard and immediately spotted him peeking from the dining area.

"Hell-"

"Not a word." 

Gandalf smartly trailed off into silence as Bilbo took a cleansing breath.

"Now this is what's going to happen," He began calmly, his stern gaze sweeping across the room. "I'm going to put my timber away and in the meantime; Drogo, I want you to retire to the guestroom. Collect yourself, Cousin. I'll bring you some tea later."

He waited until his cousin nodded.

"Good. Gandalf; you have some explaining to do. Especially as to why there is a group of dwarves currently taking up residence in my home." Bilbo didn't even wait for the wizard to nod before eyeing said dwarves. "The rest of you will wait quietly until I find out your reason as to why you are here." 

"As you wish, Master Baggins." Answered an older, white-haired dwarf nearest them.

Bilbo acknowledged him with a small nod before turning back to Thorin. "And you best watch your tongue," He warned him. "Insult me once more and you shall soon find yourself falling on your ass as I throw you over my gate."

And with that, Bilbo shouldered past the dwarf, leaving them all to gape after him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thorin: burglar? more like grocer 
> 
> Bilbo: Bitch, please. 
> 
> also the timber just works as a convenient plot device because I just wanted Bilbs to be carrying something over his shoulder lol Dem cute hobbit shirts + suspenders. just Yessssss


End file.
